I Lost My Car Over A Gram of Kush

Zack Langley
May 17, 2017
5 min read

Updated: Nov 25, 2020

Hello America.

My name's Ryan and I'm a contributing editor here at Weed and Guns. I'm one of the guys who gives your daily slice of W&G.

For those who don't know me, I'm Born, raised, and currently residing in the sportsman's paradise state of Louisiana. I grew up with a relatively normal and pretty awesome childhood. Born with a natural talent in the arts and a growing love for anything that shoots bullets or has a motor and wheels.

My family is filled with good people, a lot of them have served or are currently in the service. So, I've always had an envious respect for all military personnel and a deep love for the red white and blue.

Basically, I'm American and I'm fucking proud of it.

Like every American I've been tested. I've been through trials and tribulations, through the good and the bad, and I've experienced those dreaded, life changing, "what the fuck!?" moments. For some of us, those moments teach and even shape who we become.

Now, I don't think I'm a horrible human being. I mean, I do what I can to help people... but I also make mistakes like everyone else.

There are a couple instances I would take back for sure, but for some, these can be learnable moments, moments that change the way people see things.

My story is no different.

"We don't always see the truth. we see convenience."

We, as Americans, have this really screwed up way of viewing "justice". We hate vigilantes, but love to see bad things happen to bad people. We don't always view the facts as truth, or for that matter, we don't always see the truth. we see convenience.

Truth.

Truth is you smoking a dime bag in your house, in your car, or even in public isn't going to kill you or anyone else. The truth is, it doesn't matter what is or isn't good for you.

Convenience.

Convenience is what's easy, and what makes a dollar.

And that may possibly be the most vile and corrupting part, because convenience, in itself, has the ability to distort truth.

Especially, when convenience is Uncle Sam paying a set rate of dollars per prisoner, and per day to your local sheriff's department. Paying them just to keep you there.

So I guess, by this point you've noticed where this is going, and the stance I'm going to lay down on, since I've unfortunately had the honor of seeing this landfill situation up close a couple times.

Lets take a trip down memory lane....

*queue the sound effects*

November 2007: I'm in college and it's Thanksgiving break, I'm driving with my friends. I make a left U-turn. Instantly, the all familiar and not cool version of red white and blue appear in my rearview.

(full disclosure this was my first interaction with law enforcement.)

The officer approaches my window, gives me some bullshit excuse as to why he pulled me over....

"...improper display of license plate..."

Even though I'm not sure how one can illegally display a license plate on the license plate holder with both lights operational.

Our interaction almost appeared normal until I got the dreaded question which changed my view on law enforcement.

"Sir, can I search your vehicle?"

Now, before I have an army of motherfuckers rioting, "you have a 4th Ammendm-"

Bruh, I know and they don't give a shit. I know because I had just heard a week before that you could ask for your ticket and leave.

So I tried that...

"Can I please get my citation so I can go officer? I have a right to refuse any illegal searches or seizures since a non-moving traffic violation is not grounds to search my property".

So let me tell you where that gets you........

"Sure thing bud, have a seat while we wait for the dogs."

Just when I thought I had an out, this fucking non-English command following, fur covered jackal, who's only trained to bark and give this cop permission to search my shit rolls up.

Inevitably, my friend's dime bag was revealed....

What horrible criminals we were!

Updated Law: a police stop exceeding the time needed to handle the matter for which the stop was made violates the Constitution

My grandma once told me, "Your not a real American until you spend a night in the slammer."

Funny enough, My grandma once told me, "Your not a real American until you spend a night in the slammer." So that night, an American I was born.

I'm not going to lie, It fuckin' sucked.

I spent that Thanksgiving with 10 other dudes cramped in a humid concrete room the size of a walk in closet, complete with jailhouse turkey, gravy, and steel shitter. And no, thank God, I didn't have to drop a deuce.

Was I breaking the law?

of course I was...

Was that dime bag worth $400 bail, $375 in impound fees, and my fourth amendment rights pissed on like an under age girl with R Kelly?

Hell-to-the-no!

But did I at least learn my lesson?

Fuck no...

apparently not....

"But did I at least learn my lesson?

Fuck no...

Apparently not...."

February 2014: 8 AM, I'm off work and on the way to my girlfriend's apartment to watch my team play in play offs.

They lost by the way.

I see a local sheriffs car on the side of the road, but no worries I'm not speeding. Then two minutes later, I notice the cop is now behind me.

shocker...

*Queue "America, Fuck Yeah" with the lights and sirens*

Now I'll admit some fault here, I had an unpaid ticket and he ran my plate, and at this point I'm actually going to jail for the unpaid ticket.

So when he asked, "Do you have anything illegal in your car?"

I figured I would be honest, since I failed at this the first time around. I mean shit, maybe the cop would just throw it away.

After all, it was a just gram of weed...

Nope, he tacked that on too.

This go around, I spent three days in the same jail and really experienced the figurative butt-rape that major criminals, who have blown the doja, have go through.

"We're all innocent up in here man..." said the cool guy arrested for fishing with an expired fishing license.

The jail time sucked, no doubt, but here's where the shit actually hits the fan.

And it's all a consequence, that came from $20 worth of ganja.

Heres the list...

-$500 bail-

-1 year probation (with monthly drug test at $20 a pop)-

-$500 cost of probation-

-$250 substance abuse class-

-6 weeks of AA-

-license suspended-

And on top of all that shit, I had my brand new car repossessed by the finance company, with a few grand remaining balance after auction.

So for $20 bag of bud, I lost my car, that I made every payment on. I had no way to get to work and had to pay the finance company to take it away from me.

Take this as a friendly warning, you can in fact lose your car from a gram of kush.