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Brain Drop #001

This is Brain Drop, the series that gives weekly drops of dopeness to enhance your head high and give you more mental artillery.

[1] Blue Whales are Dope

Here's a fuckin' whale! Feel smart yet?!

Well, if seeing the largest animal that has ever existed breach the ocean up close doesn't impress you, I don't know what will.

Maybe its massive heart and arteries?!...

Here's a real Blue Whale heart, and it's been cured like Italian capicola.

Though this particular heart only weighs 400lbs, Nat Geo says a Blue Whale's heart can weigh as much as a car.

(which is true, if you consider something smaller than a Prius a car...)

While the avg heart weighs about 1,300lbs, its' tongue weighs "as much as an elephant" at 5,400 lbs.

I suspect the female whales appreciate that.

Again, Nat Geo....

The tongues are only close to the weight of the smallest species of elephant...

If you learned anything thus far, Blue Whales are dope and massive, and Weed And Guns is far more factually accurate than Nat Geo.

[2] Global Native Land Map

A map of the totally non-contentious land of peaceful indigenous tribes

While I spend this Thanksgiving being thankful for national sovereignty and other bigoted things, I find time to share this awesome map with you.

Not only does the map show how complicated the tribe lands were in the US, but also the entire world.

You can also see the world map segmented by language and treaties.

You can give that map a peep here.

[3] A Bonsai Tree That Survived Hiroshima

This Bonsai tree, an impressive 391 years old, now rests in the U.S. National Arboretum.

In 1945, this tree and its owners endured Hiroshima's atomic blasts which tragically took the lives of 140,000 people.

Miraculously, this tree and its owners were unharmed.

In 1975, The owner later donated the tree to the Arboretum.

But, in an act of amazing Japanese stoicism, the owner Masaru Yamaki never made mention of its profound past.

In 2001, Yamaki's grandson visited the arboretum and unveiled its true history.

Now the tree, which has symbolized a friendship between the two nations, has found even deeper significance.

[4] This Bird Sounds Dope

This one bird could make the entire Rain Forest Cafe soundscape

This bird, King of Saxony, not only has a name that sounds like Jordon Belfort's next investment firm, but it makes dope ASMR and has vibrating taint ticklers on its head.

But seriously, doesn't King of Saxony sound better than Stratton Oakmont?

[5] Real Lord of The Flies

Six boys, ages ranging from 13-16, attempted to escape their Catholic school boredom by taking a boat to Fiji.

Which was only like 500 miles away...

With a stolen boat, sack of bananas, a couple coconuts and a small gas burner, these Marco Politos set out for an adventure.

They became stranded at sea for 8 days, then managed to land on a rock that was, by any sane man’s definition, inhabitable.

I guess they used rocks as pillows and dinner...

Despite their situation, they persevered through extreme cooperation.

The runaways managed to survive and keep their camp fire burning.

They nursed the flame and split their duties by alternating shifts in two person teams.

They basically made a CHAZ, but with Chads. (Source: 1966 reenactment Documentary)

Now, Imagine a modern 13-16 year old in this situation...

How can you start a fire, if all you do is play video games and don't know what gender you are?

"Yeah, this is just like Minecraft..."

The boys somehow managed this shit for about 15 months, and remained complete bros the entire time, until...

Some Captain Dickhead decided to be a buzzkill and end their hella-cool sleepover.

The boys' fire was spotted by Captain Peter Warner, who was later recognized as national hero for saving them.

He was also granted permission by the king to trap lobster in Tongan waters.

Even worse, Captain Warner was never held responsible for his crimes of ending their dudely Paradise.

But Cpt. Peter wasn't complete a prick...

He made up for his faux pas when he later commissioned a new ship, hired the 6 boys as crew mates and named the ship "ATA" after the island they were stranded on.

[5} This iguana looks rad!

He looks rad and tired of your shit at the same time

Other than this Iguana having the exact same facial expression as Benjamin Franklin on the $100 dollar bill, he looks awesome.

He's also built like a Pitbull that never skipped leg day.

Apparently he's that shade of majestic orange because "(in) breeding season (Late fall/early winter), mature male iguanas take on an orange coloration, along with their heavy jowls and dewlap, in order to attract mates."

Well there you go...

That was the inaugural Brain Drop.

They'll be more shit to learn next week.



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