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Fat As Fuck Friday

Alright, here’s the fuckin deal.

You’ve been working your ass off all week, in a cubicle, in the oilfield, or wherever you strut that ass to make a dollar.

You’re hungry, and no fast food combo can’t fill the void where your soul used to be. You know, the thing you had, before your boss crushed it.

So, like black twitter says, “treat yo’ self!”

Because It’s the fuckin’ weekend and you deserve it.

You’re gunna cook, eat, drink and get laid.

Maybe not in that order, but it’s gunna happen, I feel it.

 

weekend's grub

 

Friday night dinner:

Cajun Shrimp Taco

Saturday night:

Tequila Chicken

Sunday (whenever you wake up):

Chick Hash Eggs

 

Shopping List

 

Protein

1/2 Pound of Shrimp (peeled/deveined/tails removes)

2 pounds of Chicken Breast (Boneless)

Produce

  • 10 limes

  • 3 Oranges or a cup Orange Juice

  • 2 Mangos

  • Jalapeños

  • Red Cabbage

  • Red Onion

  • Onion

  • Green Bell Pepper

  • Cilantro

  • Large Potato

  • 2 Garlic cloves

Dairy

  • Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

  • 4 Eggs

  • Unsalted Butter

Other Stuff

  • Tequila (1 1/2 cup)

  • 8 Flour Tortillas

Seasoning

(Shit You Should Have)

  • Salt

  • Kosher salt

  • Onion salt

  • Pepper

  • Ground Pepper

  • Red Pepper Flakes

  • Cayenne Pepper

  • Thyme

  • Worchestershire

  • Olive oil

  • Garlic Powder

  • Chili Powder

  • Garlic powder

  • Paparika

  • Oregano

 

FRIDAY NIGHT

 

Step 1, Marinade Saturday's Grub:

First thing your gunna do is set up the marinade for tomorrow nights dinner, Tequila Chicken.

Because it’s Friday and tonight you’re gettin plastered, so the less you have to do tomorrow, the better.

Take:

  • 1 1/2 cup tequila,

  • 1 1/2 cup lime juice,

  • 2 table spoon of lime zest,

  • 1 cup orange juice,

  • (fresh squeezed or carton)

  • 1 cup of olive oil

  • 2 tablespoon of worchestershire sauce

Then, mix and wisk them together and put that in a goodness in a gallon Ziplock or Tupperware.

Now take;

Two pounds of Chicken Breast

Cut it in half (length wise) and place into the container.

And leave in fridge to marinate for tomorrow.

 

🌮Cajun Shrimp Tacos🌮

 

Step 2, what your eating tonight:

Combine

2 diced mangos

1/4 diced onions

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon chili powder and

1/4 cup cilantro in a bowl

Now stir, and set aside.

Add shrimp to a large pan or skillet and bring to medium heat.

Sprinkle with

  • 1 teaspoon salt

  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder

  • 1½ teaspoon paprika

  • 1/2 teaspoon pepper

  • 1/2 teaspoon onion salt

  • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

  • heaping ½ teaspoon oregano

  • 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Now, stir until shrimp is pink and cooked through.

When that’s done

  • take your flour Tortillas

  • Lay your red cabbage in them

  • Stuff your shrimp in

  • And Pour your mango sauce on top

Finally, Grab a lime wedge for each taco for extra kick and stuff your face.

 

Saturday Night

 

Step 1: Take that shit out the fridge!

Now, you’re drunk from last night. Possibly even got the “get laid” goal checked off the list too. And now, you’re really glad you’ve already set up the marinade yesterday.

Take chicken out the fridge and remove from the marinade.

Step 2 , season with:

  • Salt and pepper (to taste)

  • 4 teaspoons of paprika

  • 4 teaspoons of garlic powder

Step 3, Grill/Pan Fry:

on all sides until cooked through. then remove from grill (or stove top)

Step 4, Wrap the chicken in foil:

And let those sauces rest.

Lastly, garnish with chopped cilantro and lime zest.

Now get to the grub and eat!

 

Lazy Sunday Hangover

 

Step 1, Skin & Dice a large potato (1/2 inch cubes):

  • Cook in a large cast-iron skillet on medium/high with a bit of olive oil.

  • Remove when golden brown.

Step 2, in Same pan on moderate heat:

  • Add 2 tablespoons in the olive oil.

  • Melt 2 tablespoons of butter

Then,

  • Add 1 cup of green pepper,

  • 3/4 cup onion,

  • 2 large jalapeños,

  • 2 garlic cloves,

  • 1/2 teaspoon finely chopped thyme

  • a generous pinch each of salt and pepper

occasionally stir until softened and just starting to brown, about 7 minutes.

Step 3, Stir in the potato and left over chicken:

  • Flatten the mixture with a spatula.

  • Cook over high heat until crusty on the bottom, about 5 minutes.

  • Working in sections, turn the hash over and cook until browned on the other side, 3 to 5 minutes.

Step 4: Using the back of a spoon...

  • make 4 depressions in the hash

  • crack the 4 eggs into the depressions

  • season with salt and pepper

Step 5, Cover the skillet and cook:

  • Over moderate heat until the egg whites are just set but the yolks are runny, about 4 minutes.

  • Sprinkle the hash with grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

  • Finally, eat that shit out a the pan.

 

yOU KILLED IT THIS WEEKEND.

 

With any luck, the food you ate balanced the poison you put in.

Now, go back to bed you savage.

You've got a long week ahead of you.

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